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Logs: liberachat/#xmonad

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2023-02-24 16:40:25 <HB[m]> I think he is a good person and helpful
2023-02-24 16:40:26 <mazte[m]> We love and accept you, you're alright and aren't really bothering us. Just keep in mind that it can be hard to process what's happening and reply accordingly. Some of us aren't good socially, while others aren't necessarily well equipped to understand others to a good extent. This is why I said that this seems to be a miscommunication and that a good way to go about it would be to acknowledge it and just keep it in mind for the future.
2023-02-24 16:40:36 <HB[m]> But I understand he also have same prolblem as me and I can understand that.
2023-02-24 16:41:02 <HB[m]> Thank you.
2023-02-24 16:41:03 <HB[m]> I do feel better now.
2023-02-24 16:41:22 <HB[m]> I am not only on medications but also in therapy for this too
2023-02-24 16:41:46 <HB[m]> The medication I take helps me deal with others
2023-02-24 16:41:49 <HB[m]> It's prescribed for autism so autistic people won't be so irritable with normal people
2023-02-24 16:41:51 <geekosaur> you might see if you can contact your therapist now and have a talk
2023-02-24 16:42:07 <geekosaur> mine's repeatedly told me I can contact her whenever I need to
2023-02-24 16:42:11 <HB[m]> ok
2023-02-24 16:42:30 <HB[m]> Please don't scold me on things becuase I'm not normal and I am extremel sensitive to it.
2023-02-24 16:42:51 <HB[m]> If you think I made a mistake or posted a link that's not acceptable, then just be forthcoming and direct with me
2023-02-24 16:42:52 <geekosaur> also, and I do mean this well even if I'm not expressing ot very well, try not to focus on self-pity. it'll only eat you alive from the inside
2023-02-24 16:42:58 <HB[m]> "Hey, don't share that stuff here."
2023-02-24 16:43:00 <HB[m]> Done deal.
2023-02-24 16:43:23 <mazte[m]> HB[m]: Gotcha
2023-02-24 16:43:39 <HB[m]> If you say to me, "how exactly is XYZ" I will more than likely not take that well.
2023-02-24 16:44:00 <HB[m]> I will feel challenged, reprimanded, scoldled, all negative things.
2023-02-24 16:44:12 <HB[m]> I appreciate forthcomingness, directness, but not sarcasm or cutting statemetns.
2023-02-24 16:44:25 <mazte[m]> HB[m]: Because it is hard to interpret?
2023-02-24 16:44:26 <HB[m]> Robotically is fine with me. Emotionless communication is fine with me.
2023-02-24 16:44:31 <HB[m]> Yes. I do not know this
2023-02-24 16:44:40 <mazte[m]> Understandable
2023-02-24 16:44:41 <HB[m]> My disability is that I cannot interpret peopel's intentions.
2023-02-24 16:44:47 <HB[m]> I can know my mom and dad all my luife
2023-02-24 16:44:58 <HB[m]> and I will still constantly misundertstand them and think that they are tryhing tio hurt me
2023-02-24 16:45:09 <HB[m]> My famiy and friends have to be careful in how they approach me otherwise I freak out.
2023-02-24 16:45:31 <liskin> I have the same, just less severe I think
2023-02-24 16:45:32 <HB[m]> I have metnal disabilities. Things I am not capable to do physically.
2023-02-24 16:45:42 <HB[m]> I have to work extra hard to not misunderstand otehrs.
2023-02-24 16:46:06 <liskin> one can try to consciously focus on trying to interpret things in a charitable way, but it does break down when one's tired or stressed
2023-02-24 16:46:11 <HB[m]> I don't ask the world to modify themselves for me.
2023-02-24 16:46:19 <mazte[m]> liskin: same, albeit I mean this in the "it is hard to understand others" sort of sense
2023-02-24 16:46:38 <HB[m]> I simply ask, if you can show me a bit of coutesy and change your approach to me, that'd be great. If it's too much to ask of you, then np, just don't approach me.
2023-02-24 16:46:40 <mazte[m]> social context, I suppose
2023-02-24 16:46:50 <liskin> mazte[m]: I think I literally have this same thing where I tend to interpret some things as attacks on me
2023-02-24 16:47:11 <HB[m]> I will actively misunderstand robbers and violent people tryhing to hurt me as friendly
2023-02-24 16:47:18 <liskin> it's sometimes downright amusing when things calm down afterwards
2023-02-24 16:47:21 <HB[m]> You may have some difficulty with it
2023-02-24 16:47:26 <HB[m]> but my brain cannot process this.
2023-02-24 16:48:18 <HB[m]> I do not know or can read people's intentions. I don't process this in my brain.
2023-02-24 16:48:30 × werneta quits (~werneta@70-142-214-115.lightspeed.irvnca.sbcglobal.net) (Ping timeout: 255 seconds)
2023-02-24 16:48:31 <mazte[m]> HB[m]: I'll try. If I don't, feel free to remind me
2023-02-24 16:48:45 <liskin> like this one time when our boss had a presentation and said that the migration to Outlook was a success, and my brain instantly went into "what the fuck are you saying I don't exist are you saying this abomination of a thing that made my life miserable was a win? I'm gonna report you to HR immediately for offending me you motherfucker"
2023-02-24 16:49:29 <HB[m]> It's a constant storm inside the mind.
2023-02-24 16:49:34 <HB[m]> Not a moment of rest or peace.
2023-02-24 16:49:37 <HB[m]> It's exhuasting.
2023-02-24 16:50:24 <mazte[m]> liskin: Ironically enough, I tend to interpret some statements and emotions as not emotional, if that makes sense. It makes for awkward and sometimes strange/funny situations
2023-02-24 16:50:31 <HB[m]> If I can finally trust a person and know they're not trying to hurt me, then they can joke around, say things, be sarcastic, whatever. I don't mind at that point.
2023-02-24 16:50:41 <HB[m]> But I don't know what helps me to get there.
2023-02-24 16:51:00 <liskin> mazte[m]: I think I need an example
2023-02-24 16:51:01 <mazte[m]> HB[m]: I get you, I think
2023-02-24 16:51:01 <HB[m]> Perhaps repeated offtopic interactions with that person
2023-02-24 16:51:02 <HB[m]> On a personal level.
2023-02-24 16:51:08 <HB[m]> Friendliness
2023-02-24 16:51:16 <HB[m]> Then I don't mistrust people.
2023-02-24 16:51:27 <HB[m]> Generally. I still misundstand intentions
2023-02-24 16:51:40 <HB[m]> But it's not as bad.
2023-02-24 16:52:04 <HB[m]> The hardest thing on this planet is communication with others.
2023-02-24 16:52:09 <geekosaur> I'm still trying to figure out where I was being "sarcastic".
2023-02-24 16:52:10 <HB[m]> Our internal dictionairies do not match
2023-02-24 16:52:21 <HB[m]> Maybe you were not
2023-02-24 16:52:28 <geekosaur> biut that might be as much my internal dictionary not matching
2023-02-24 16:52:40 <HB[m]> I interpreted it that way maybe due to my upset
2023-02-24 16:52:47 <HB[m]> Now that I think about it
2023-02-24 16:52:53 <HB[m]> What reason would yhou have to want to hurt me?
2023-02-24 16:53:03 <HB[m]> None that I can reason.
2023-02-24 16:53:16 <HB[m]> So more than likely in my emotinonal state I misunderstood your inteintions
2023-02-24 16:53:23 <HB[m]> Even though I 've known you for a few years
2023-02-24 16:53:28 <HB[m]> We get along and are friendly together
2023-02-24 16:53:46 <HB[m]> Yet I still misunderstood your intentions
2023-02-24 16:54:04 <HB[m]> Just like my family... it's no different. I can't do this skill mentally inmy brain
2023-02-24 16:54:07 <HB[m]> I have to work extra hard to not think people are trying to hurt me.
2023-02-24 16:54:25 <HB[m]> 4 decades of mental abuse will fuck up any brain.
2023-02-24 16:55:43 kora9 joins (~kora@user/Kora9)
2023-02-24 16:56:17 <mazte[m]> <liskin> "mazte: I think I need an example" <- Back when I was in school, a girl asking me to a dance, but I, being the genius I am, laughing at it because I interpreted as a joke, and her practically almost slapping me due to how it came off — the following days were what I can only describe as extremely awkward. Apply that same general logic to various situation, then you can say bingo
2023-02-24 16:56:23 <kora9> Is it possible to make dual-monitor xmonad sane with independent workspaces for each monitor? The weird interconnectedness between them makes absolutely no sense to me
2023-02-24 16:56:59 <Solid> kora9: there is an IndependentScreens module
2023-02-24 16:57:23 <Solid> (but I would encourage you to at least try to get used to XMonad's model—it'll feel natural after a while, I promise :)
2023-02-24 16:57:26 <mazte[m]> HB[m]: Understandable. I'm glad we came to an understanding and spoke about it
2023-02-24 16:57:29 <liskin> mazte[m]: that's a good one, yeah
2023-02-24 16:57:38 <kora9> Solid: Oh nice, does it work for what I'm trying to achieve? I want 4 workspaces per monitor, 1-4 is monitor 1 and 5-9 is monitor 2
2023-02-24 16:57:52 <HB[m]> I'm sorry if I made you feel bad geekosaur
2023-02-24 16:58:02 <HB[m]> Please forgive me and my mental issues.
2023-02-24 16:58:21 <kora9> Solid: I tried, but it's so bizarre! :D Is there a good doc that simply explains what's going on with it?
2023-02-24 16:58:29 <mazte[m]> I'm gonna stop replying now that others are asking topic relevant questions
2023-02-24 16:59:18 <Solid> kora9: I mean, the basic idea is that all monitors simply share one set of workspaces
2023-02-24 16:59:53 <Solid> so switching workspaces has to do *something* because you can't show the same workspace on two monitors
2023-02-24 17:00:18 <Solid> and the most natural thing to do (maybe this is "your brain on XMonad") would then be to swap them
2023-02-24 17:01:11 <mazte[m]> s/situation/situations/
2023-02-24 17:01:21 <liskin> but this being xmonad, you can choose what happens when you switch
2023-02-24 17:01:37 <Solid> ah yes, there's a non-greedy view as well
2023-02-24 17:01:49 <liskin> so if you swap greedyView for view, it just switches to the other monitor if that already displays that workspace
2023-02-24 17:01:54 <kora9> Solid: Oh, so that's what's going on. Maybe it'll make more sense to my brain now that I know to expect that selecting an existing workspace swaps it
2023-02-24 17:02:18 <kora9> Solid: Yes, I tried using W.view which seemed moderately more sane but still didn't seem independent?
2023-02-24 17:02:33 <liskin> yeah view isn't meant to be independent
2023-02-24 17:02:52 <Solid> yes it's to be seen as a less… "aggressive" version of greedyView
2023-02-24 17:03:02 <kora9> To be honest, most of xmonad is too big to fit in my brain, but I love what it does so much that I'm really trying to understand it :)
2023-02-24 17:03:04 <liskin> switching to a workspace already visible on another monitor is disruptive in one way or another

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