Logs: liberachat/#xmonad
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| 2023-07-26 22:13:59 | <absta[m]> | Let me post the options when I get to my computer. |
| 2023-07-26 22:14:12 | <absta[m]> | Hmm, what is blur? |
| 2023-07-26 22:25:20 | <geekosaur> | I guess that means you weren't playing with it? search for it in the manpage |
| 2023-07-26 22:38:37 | × | mncheckm quits (~mncheck@193.224.205.254) (Ping timeout: 260 seconds) |
| 2023-07-26 22:54:10 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | <absta[m]> "Hmm, what is blur?" <- as in ~--blur-method~, ~blur-background~ and etc. |
| 2023-07-26 22:54:39 | <absta[m]> | I see, I am not using one. I suspect that shadow is overwriting the border |
| 2023-07-26 22:55:56 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | absta[m]: Did you try disabling them and running picom? That could be the easiest way to find out |
| 2023-07-26 22:56:16 | <absta[m]> | Let me try that |
| 2023-07-26 23:36:10 | <liskin> | ChaoticMist[m]: I'm not coming back from my "vacation" any time soon I'm afraid |
| 2023-07-26 23:37:56 | <liskin> | There was a period of time when I would have been able to review the PR provided someone took my simpler and more robust design and polished it, but these days I can't promise even that :-( |
| 2023-07-26 23:38:27 | <liskin> | Still... it would be nice if someone did. It's not exactly rocket science. |
| 2023-07-26 23:38:32 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: WTF is going on? Everything alright? |
| 2023-07-26 23:39:03 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | BTW, I was just checking the status of the PR. Nothing serious tbh, so don't worry about it! |
| 2023-07-26 23:39:42 | <liskin> | Just a very bad burnout, possibly depression. |
| 2023-07-26 23:40:30 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: How long has this been going on for? And do you know when it started happening? |
| 2023-07-26 23:40:47 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Also, have you talked to someone about it? |
| 2023-07-26 23:40:50 | <liskin> | Been a year I guess, maybe two. |
| 2023-07-26 23:41:19 | <liskin> | You'd expect to have sorted it out via doctors by now but I'm doing something wrong I guess |
| 2023-07-26 23:41:51 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: I did not, because I know people who have gone for way longer than that without getting their depression cured. |
| 2023-07-26 23:42:53 | <liskin> | They just keep telling me I need to wait for a diagnosis and that takes ages even with a private health insurance. If I was relying on the NHS it'd be literally years. Like... 5 |
| 2023-07-26 23:42:58 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: some people get addicted to the depressive state, other's avoid the answers they know would solve the issue |
| 2023-07-26 23:43:19 | <geekosaur> | and even so only about a third of people respond to medication |
| 2023-07-26 23:43:34 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Also, ending it is not an answer. That's just evading the issue. So please people, don't do something dumb like that. |
| 2023-07-26 23:43:51 | <liskin> | Yeah, fun times still ahead. |
| 2023-07-26 23:44:06 | <liskin> | But nowhere near ending it. |
| 2023-07-26 23:44:10 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | geekosaur: I think it's even less than that tbh |
| 2023-07-26 23:44:16 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: Good! |
| 2023-07-26 23:44:18 | <geekosaur> | mine never expressed that way. I just withdrew into myself and couldn't do much of anything |
| 2023-07-26 23:45:38 | <absta[m]> | Honestly burnout is normal |
| 2023-07-26 23:45:46 | <geekosaur> | (but mine was side effect, really. being treated for the actual problem now, not perfectly but the depression's gone) |
| 2023-07-26 23:45:47 | <liskin> | If it was that bad there'd be better options I'm sure. I can still quit the job, pack my stuff and go home and let an actual functioning EU healthcare system take care of me. |
| 2023-07-26 23:46:02 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | (not bragging or something.. so do not take it the wrong way) I personally just "deleted" my older self and I find myself oftentimes not recalling older memories. So do not try that method |
| 2023-07-26 23:46:41 | <liskin> | I'd love to delete my current self, if anything :-) |
| 2023-07-26 23:46:48 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: Do you feel that the job is causing you depression? |
| 2023-07-26 23:46:58 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: You'll forget to experience emotions too |
| 2023-07-26 23:47:07 | <liskin> | ChaoticMist[m]: possibly |
| 2023-07-26 23:47:44 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: Why not just quit? You don't have an infinite lifespan to continue with this shit.. |
| 2023-07-26 23:48:12 | <liskin> | ChaoticMist[m]: yeah that's a good question... |
| 2023-07-26 23:48:34 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Are you afraid of rewarding your own self? |
| 2023-07-26 23:48:37 | <liskin> | Mainly because last time I looked for a job in here everything was a bit shit |
| 2023-07-26 23:48:41 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Because no one else will. |
| 2023-07-26 23:49:05 | <absta[m]> | I've seen many people going burnout who are healthy otherwise, it could be a sign of being overworked imo |
| 2023-07-26 23:49:15 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: Who gives a fuck? If you feel bad, fuck it. No matter what kind of job it is.. |
| 2023-07-26 23:49:38 | <absta[m]> | So I believe you do need to see which case it is |
| 2023-07-26 23:49:41 | <liskin> | And also the health insurance is tied to it. |
| 2023-07-26 23:49:50 | <absta[m]> | Reality is harsh. |
| 2023-07-26 23:50:24 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | absta[m]: Personally, if a work place allows people to get overworked then I am not participating in it. |
| 2023-07-26 23:50:38 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: Well, quit that too and just travel like you said you would? |
| 2023-07-26 23:51:06 | <liskin> | (not US, so it's not critical, but I wanted to wrap up the diagnosis stuff and that needs the insurance) |
| 2023-07-26 23:51:19 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | You won't have that ability forever.. |
| 2023-07-26 23:51:20 | <absta[m]> | True, but ehh.. those workplaces are just too common. |
| 2023-07-26 23:51:20 | <absta[m]> | Hmmm |
| 2023-07-26 23:51:20 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | absta[m]: Does not mean we should allow ourselves to be treated that way. If they are common then it means we enabled them. |
| 2023-07-26 23:51:28 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: Do you feel like it's helping or just a waste of time? |
| 2023-07-26 23:52:02 | <liskin> | ChaoticMist[m]: my wife's academic career would get in trouble if we moved, so it's a last resort |
| 2023-07-26 23:52:29 | <liskin> | ChaoticMist[m]: so far waste of time but that's probably expected |
| 2023-07-26 23:52:34 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: Do you think your wife would accept you travelling without her? |
| 2023-07-26 23:52:36 | <absta[m]> | ChaoticMist[m]: Who are "we" though? Society is not monolithic, lots of people just follow the flow. |
| 2023-07-26 23:52:40 | <liskin> | Just waiting and waiting |
| 2023-07-26 23:52:51 | <liskin> | ChaoticMist[m]: I don't want to |
| 2023-07-26 23:52:53 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | You can always take a break instead of moving |
| 2023-07-26 23:52:58 | <geekosaur> | and I'm not sure it would help, you were having problems before you moved there |
| 2023-07-26 23:53:17 | <liskin> | Were I? |
| 2023-07-26 23:53:28 | <geekosaur> | yes |
| 2023-07-26 23:53:34 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | geekosaur: Obviously |
| 2023-07-26 23:53:45 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Since that's just a form of escape |
| 2023-07-26 23:53:47 | <liskin> | I mean kind of, maybe, but how the hell do you know? :-D |
| 2023-07-26 23:54:54 | <geekosaur> | should I go back through logs? this is not the first time you've discussed your problems here |
| 2023-07-26 23:54:54 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Out of curiosity, did you experience any form of depressive thoughts when you were typing with us? |
| 2023-07-26 23:55:16 | <liskin> | geekosaur: yeah but we moved at the end of 2019 |
| 2023-07-26 23:55:29 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | That's 4 years ago |
| 2023-07-26 23:55:35 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Not 2 |
| 2023-07-26 23:55:41 | <liskin> | So that's about a year before I got seriously involved with xmonad |
| 2023-07-26 23:56:02 | <liskin> | Whatever happened before that you wouldn't be aware of |
| 2023-07-26 23:56:34 | <liskin> | ChaoticMist[m]: probably not? Dunno how I'd tell. |
| 2023-07-26 23:56:52 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: Exactly, so there is something that is reminding you of your depression |
| 2023-07-26 23:56:59 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Nail that down and then just avoid it? |
| 2023-07-26 23:57:00 | <geekosaur> | mm, I think you have your chronology wrong because 4q 2019 was around when the revert war happened |
| 2023-07-26 23:57:36 | <geekosaur> | and I'm fairly certain because I was homeless and trying to deal with my own problems and just locked up when it happened and byorgey had to bail us out |
| 2023-07-27 00:00:07 | <liskin> | ChaoticMist[m]: the answer is probably "work" but it's difficult to avoid because bills and rent |
| 2023-07-27 00:00:46 | <liskin> | Yeah I know it's technically possible to avoid all that it's just quite a bit far off my comfort zone now :-) |
| 2023-07-27 00:01:12 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Understandable |
| 2023-07-27 00:01:39 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Have you tried setting up your own business or something? |
| 2023-07-27 00:01:43 | <liskin> | geekosaur: I'm sure it was later. I didn't get involved with xmonad until after I quit my job at the start of the pandemic, and that was 2020 |
| 2023-07-27 00:03:09 | <liskin> | I think I tried something very vaguely resembling exploring whether freelance might be for me, ages ago, and concluded not. |
| 2023-07-27 00:03:48 | <liskin> | Anyway, I need to sleep otherwise another work day will be even worse than it could be |
| 2023-07-27 00:04:02 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Goodnight! |
| 2023-07-27 00:04:25 | <liskin> | Thanks for caring and trying to come up with ideas! |
| 2023-07-27 00:04:52 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | liskin: Don't mention it, we are here for everyone! |
| 2023-07-27 00:05:17 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Just remember that you are not alone in this world |
| 2023-07-27 00:09:09 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | <geekosaur> "and I'm fairly certain because I..." <- How are you doing now? Hope everything is better with the housing issue you used to have |
| 2023-07-27 00:10:07 | <geekosaur[c]> | I got housing little over 2 years ago I'm doing okay now |
| 2023-07-27 00:11:30 | <ChaoticMist[m]> | Good to hear that! |
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